WASHINGTON, D.C.—Move over, Champ and Major! There’s a brand new pet within the Biden household, and he often is the ticket to smoothing over relations with China. The White House has formally introduced the arrival of their new cat “Chairman Meow”.
Meow has been named after the revolutionary Communist chief who based the People’s Republic of China: Chairman Mao.
“We are so excited to welcome ‘Chairman Meow’ to the family,” stated a beaming President Biden. “We got him from Beijing. He already thinks he’s in charge of the place! Ha! That rascal. Always walking on the keyboard in the Situation Room, sending funny messages. And lemme tell ya– he smells great. Come here and let me sniff you, little devil!” yelled Biden as he chased after the brand new pet.
After a few early unlucky incidents with Major, the Secret Service has been compelled to divert a squad to guard Chairman Meow. The project has grow to be extremely coveted, because it by no means entails restraining the President from making an attempt to punch a mirror.
According to sources, Chairman Meow is already exercising his will over White House employees. He has already despatched one caretaker to the labor camps after he didn’t warmth up his Fancy Feast to the right temperature.
When reached for remark, the cat responded, saying: “meow.”