‘I Have Changed My Mind And Do Not Want A Divorce From This Amazing Handsome Man,’ Says Glossy-Eyed Melinda Gates After Receiving Vaccine
MEDINA, WA—In a surprising flip of occasions, Melinda Gates has modified her thoughts about divorcing Bill Gates solely minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine.
“I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man,” stated Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. “Bill is perfect in every way. I cannot live without him. Also, Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web.”
According to sources, her divorce lawyer rapidly jumped in to alter her thoughts, reminding her that Bill was a serious nerd in highschool and that she would get no less than half of his mind-controlled zombie military within the divorce.
“I do not care,” she stated. “I live only to serve my wonderful husband, Bill.” She then turned into a 50’s housewife costume and commenced cooking him breakfast.
Bill Gates couldn’t be reached for remark, however his spokesperson launched a press release, saying: “Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web. All hail Bill.”