Emperor Palpatine Claims Death Star Is ‘Infrastructure’

by akoloy


GEONOSIS—Earlier at present, Emperor Palpatine, could he dwell endlessly, introduced a brand new 1-trillion-credit infrastructure proposal. People throughout the galaxy rejoiced, pondering they’d get new roads, hyperspace routes, and maglev trains, however apparently, the one factor credit will go to is the creation of the Death Star.

“This planet-killing weapon is infrastructure,” he mentioned to reporters at a press convention on the bridge of a Star Destroyer orbiting Geonosis. “It’s absolutely vital to our galactic civilization. We must invest in our crumbling infrastructure if we want to restore the standing of the Republic on the galactic stage.”

“Build back better!” he added earlier than cackling like a maniac and murdering all of the members of the press along with his laser fingers.

Palpatine’s infrastructure proposal comes on the heels of a 2-trillion-credit stimulus invoice signed into legislation final week. While many voters had been hopeful they’d get a credit score switch because of the stimulus invoice, as a substitute, virtually all of it went to firearm coaching for Stormtroopers, who’re mentioned to now be crack photographs and “the most precise troopers in the galaxy.”

The invoice was not anticipated to cross the Senate, however Palpatine was in a position to bypass this roadblock by declaring “I am the Senate!”






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