Having Achieved Peace In The Middle East, U.S. To Withdraw Troops
AFGHANISTAN—U.S. troops are celebrating Biden’s announcement that forces will withdraw from Afghanistan this 12 months, having achieved whole peace all throughout the Middle East.
“Yes, the Middle East is now a peaceful utopia thanks to us,” mentioned Army General Austin Miller. “We came here looking for oil but didn’t find any, so we decided to bring democracy instead. I’m happy to say that after 20 years we have achieved total victory.”
Other causes given for the withdrawal embrace the truth that there’s nothing left to explode, and the truth that all of the troops have grown fairly bored after being there for two many years.
“Also, we just remembered that we killed Bin Laden like 10 years ago, so I guess we don’t really need to be here anymore,” mentioned General Miller.
Biden has clarified that he’ll solely be bringing the troops dwelling for vaccinations and anti-racism coaching earlier than re-deploying them to protect the Capitol.