Amazon Creates Online Looting App To Allow The Timid To Loot From…

by akoloy

U.S.—Amazon is taking a large leap in direction of better fairness with the addition of a model new “Loot” perform. Customers can have the choice of continuing to the checkout to pay usually, or clicking the “LOOT IT!” button for social justice.

“If a looter is too timid to smash a window in person, or just too lazy to go outside, we should not be suppressing their important voice by preventing them from looting,” stated outgoing CEO Jeff Bezos. “We are proud to announce our new app: Amazon Loot.”

Customers who choose the “LOOT IT” choice will likely be given an inventory of injustices and microaggressions they’ll choose from that might justify their looting. Items will likely be promptly shipped in 1 day, similar to Amazon Prime objects. 

“Amazon really feels for all the people in this country who are shy or live far away from the prime looting locations of urban centers,” stated Bezos. “We are proud to be increasing looting entry to extra folks than ever. Say it with me– looting is a human proper. Period!”

Amazon clarified that they won’t be paying the producers for looted merchandise, however since all makers have insurance coverage this won’t be an issue.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you need to get entangled with the workers writers at The Babylon Bee, take a look at our membership choices here!

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