ATLANTA, GA—Spokespeople for Major League Baseball introduced at the moment that the All-Star Game this summer time can be moved from Atlanta, resulting from its egregious voting legal guidelines, to a Uyghur jail camp yard, the place there are not any unhealthy voting legal guidelines in any respect.
The recreation can be held within the spacious jail yard, which includes a tall barbed-wire fence and a modest outfield. The venue options a number of free labor, so each function from the ball boys to the concession distributors will not price the league a dime. In reality, the employees are already fortunately chalking the baselines and tending the grass, since if they do not, they are going to be murdered.
“We must move the All-Star game to a place that shares our values,” stated MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred. “This prison yard is absolutely perfect, and they’re giving it to us absolutely free. What a friend we have in Communist China!”
“Most importantly, the prison camp has no ban on early voting, since there is no voting, and no law against giving voters water, since there are no voters. Or water.”
This ought to be some of the thrilling video games in latest reminiscence, as any participant who fails to face for the Chinese pledge of allegiance or factors to God to thank Him for an awesome play can be shot on sight.
However, the sport can be restricted to simply three additional innings, as Disney wants the house instantly after to movie a documentary on Georgia’s unhealthy voting legal guidelines.