EL PASO, TX—With Biden’s border amenities changing into extra crowded by the hour, the U.S. is going through a extreme scarcity of tin foil, since– in line with ICE, immigrants desire to sleep wrapped up in it. In response, followers of “Q” have generously agreed to donate further tin foil hats to handle the pressing want.
“It’s the least I can do,” stated native QAnon chapter president Dave Smith. “I feel for those poor kids. I just hope they can all escape that border facility before Tom Hanks eats them all.”
According to “Q” members, the tin foil will defend migrants from the cold– in addition to cosmic radiation, thoughts management, vaccine-infected zombies, and Jeffrey Epstein, in case he is nonetheless alive.
Officials are warning, nevertheless, that if the disaster on the border is not fastened quickly, they will have to begin utilizing Saran Wrap.