Arkansas Passes Controversial Bill To Ban Chopping Off Kids’ Legs If They Think They’re A Mermaid
LITTLE ROCK, AR—In an enormous blow to trans-species rights, Arkansas has handed a controversial legislation banning the dismemberment and surgical altering of youngsters in the event that they wish to be a unique creature.
“I’ll never forget the day my daughter Belle was splashing in the tub and said, ‘Look at me, Mommy! I’m a mermaid!'” mentioned native progressive mom and part-time librarian Zindy Derple. “I knew that day she was different. A mythical fish-creature trapped in a human girl’s body.”
Belle’s dismemberment surgical procedure has now been canceled attributable to Arkansas’s new legislation.
“Now, we can’t even get her the compassionate leg-removal medical care needed to turn her into her true mermaid self,” she mentioned, preventing tears.
The invoice can even prohibit whisker implants for teenagers who wish to be cats, pouch surgical procedure for teenagers who wish to be kangaroos, and “dunking in a vat of chemicals” remedies for teenagers who determine as Batman’s arch-nemesis, the Joker.
“This is a cruel and inhumane bill,” mentioned Derple. “It denies the proven science that species is a fluid thing and denies essential treatment to children, who are obviously old enough to understand what species they are.”
Hollywood has additionally spoken up, vowing to by no means movie in Arkansas once more. “Arkansas needs to learn we will never support a state that normalizes such hate and bigotry,” mentioned one director.
“We will be filming Cuties 2 elsewhere, thank you very much.”.