Cain Celebrated By Environmentalists For Reducing Humanity’s…

by akoloy


Cain Celebrated By Environmentalists For Reducing Humanity’s Carbon Footprint By 25%

U.S.—For millennia, most individuals checked out Cain as a villain for killing his brother Abel. However, some historians and environmental specialists are actually suggesting Cain has been unfairly handled by the historical past books.

“When you think about it from an environmental standpoint,” mentioned scientist Juni Pedersen, “Cain actually reduced the carbon footprint of the human race by 25% when he killed the CO2-exhaling Abel, leaving just him and his two parents. Not even the Paris Climate Accords could hope to achieve those numbers. When you think about it that way, what Cain did was quite an accomplishment.”

Some students took challenge with this new means of trying on the first homicide since killing individuals is usually frowned upon by most cultures, however environmentalists have been fast to level out that there weren’t any legal guidelines in opposition to killing individuals when the killing occurred. 

“Can we really even say Cain did anything wrong? There were no laws on the books at the time,” mentioned Pedersen.

“When you look at the exponential growth of the human race, offing Abel may have delayed the climate catastrophe by thousands of years!”

Bernie Sanders shortly seized on the dialog, introducing new laws to permit hitting individuals with rocks till carbon emissions are lowered by 25%. 


Babylon Bee subscriber Kevin Ogburn contributed to this report. If you need to get entangled with the workers writers at The Babylon Bee, try our membership choices here!





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