600-Page Stimulus Bill To Be Disguised As Nudie Mag To Trick Senators Into Reading It
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As a part of a novel new plan to get senators to truly learn the laws they’re voting on, the 600-page stimulus invoice will likely be disguised as an old-time nudie magazine in hopes that they’re going to open it up.
“Oh? What’s this?” stated one senator as he noticed the enormous stack of papers on his desk with a Playboy cowl. “Hold my calls! I’ll be in my office uh… doing stuff! And don’t disturb me!”
The hope is that senators will learn by a minimum of a number of dozen pages of the laws earlier than they understand they have been had. Some inappropriate footage will likely be slipped in all through the pages to maintain them going, although there’s little hope that their consideration will likely be held past web page 30 or 40.
“Even if we just get them to glance at it, that’d be a win,” stated the residents’ advocacy group that got here up with the plan. “Hopefully, they’ll leaf through some pages and maybe spot a few hundred billion here or there that they can cut before they saddle our grandchildren with more suffocating debt.”
“We’re not holding our breath, though.”
At publishing time, sources had confirmed that future stimulus payments can have enjoyable digital buttons to make sounds and interactive contact and really feel parts to maintain the senators entertained and engaged all through.