AUSTIN, TX—Governor Greg Abbott of Texas has simply lifted the masks mandate and is permitting enterprise to return to 100% capability. The Governor explains that in these attempting occasions, excessive measures should be taken to cease the unfold of Californians into Texas and to scare them off from ever desirous to return.
“The last thing we need is a bunch of sissies from California moving to our beautiful state of Texas and screwing everything up and turning the state blue!” mentioned Governor Abbott throughout a Lubbock Chamber of Commerce occasion. “Too many Californians have entered our state. Too many ridiculous liberal ideas have already been proposed. This must end. It’s time to open Texas 100%.”
Governor Abbott continued, “We believe that by removing the mask requirement that all of the Californians will flee in terror, restoring our state to its former glory. As soon as they see the joy and hear the laughter of our citizens returning to normal life, they’ll be sure to pack up and leave at once.”
The Governor has strategically positioned “No Masks Required” stickers on all Texas state indicators warning all who enter of what lies past. He has expressed hope that this may ship any namby-pamby who reads it again round to the place they got here from. “We tried buying and carrying more guns around, but somehow that didn’t work. Then we tried driving around in big, lifted, gas-guzzling trucks, but they still kept coming. But now by removing our masks for good Texas can finally start to heal.”
After seeing rapid outcomes by reversing the masks mandate, Governor Abbott has been in search of extra methods to scare off the cry-baby cowards. He has now eliminated all social distancing pointers and even inspired residents to cease washing their arms.