Biden Clarifies That Stimulus Checks Are ‘Just An Idea’

by akoloy

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As increasingly Americans begin questioning the place the $2,000 stimulus checks Joe Biden promised are, particularly as he is now determined to begin meddling in Syria, Biden issued a press release at the moment clarifying that the stimulus checks had been “just an idea.”

“The stimulus checks, see, they’re just an idea,” he mentioned, shrugging off claims that the stimulus checks had been alleged to be precise checks despatched to Americans. “They’re more of a metaphor. You might say the real stimulus checks were just the countries we bombed along the way, Jack. The real stimulus checks, ya see, they were inside us all along.”

“You there, the grrr– the girl with the pretty hair,” he mentioned, gesturing towards a reporter within the entrance row. “You’re a stimulus check. And you, the guy with the mustache — you’re a stimulus check. In a way, all of us are stimulus checks when we live according to the American values of love, progress, and unity. We can all become the stimulus checks we wish to see in the world.”

Biden’s assertion introduced everybody within the room to tears, and Snopes shortly fact-checked his declare that the stimulus checks had been by no means supposed to be literal however had been at all times “just an idea” as “double-plus true.”

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