Calling Someone Without Texting Them First Officially Classified…

by akoloy

U.S.—An appeals courtroom decide in Texas has dominated this week that calling somebody with out first texting them to see if you need them to name you is formally a federal hate crime.

In the choice handed down on the case Mason v. Metfield, the courtroom upheld a decrease courtroom’s ruling that calling somebody with out simply hitting them up with a textual content, or else simply not contacting them in any respect, matches the federal definition of a merciless, hate-filled crime that’s motivated by malice and being actually annoying.

While many individuals have opposed the class of “hate crime” or else really feel the time period is used too liberally, the ruling has confirmed to be extraordinarily widespread, with over 98% of Americans saying they agree with the decide’s resolution.

“Calling someone without texting them first is hereby declared a hate crime,” stated the decide solemnly as he banged his gavel down. “May anyone who does this be torn apart by rabid wolves, fed to the wolves, put back together using the miracle of modern medicine, and then have the process repeated.”

“And may God have mercy on his soul — eh, or not. It’s cool with me if God wants to show no mercy. That’s His prerogative. I’m not telling God how to do His job or anything, but if it were up to me, that guy would be a goner.”

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