Amazon Introduces ‘Kindle Bonfire’ Feature That Lets You Burn…

by akoloy

SEATTLE, WA—Amazon introduced in the present day that Kindle customers will now have the power to nearly take part in e-book burnings, that time-honored custom of tolerant, open societies.

The Kindle platform will function a brand new space referred to as the “Kindle Bonfire”, the place customers can throw choose books right into a digital inferno.  

“Good old-fashioned book burnings have really gone by the wayside,” mentioned Amazon spokesman Heinrich von Schnitzelkopf.  “Seems there aren’t as many print books out there, for some reason.  So here at Amazon, we wanted to find a way to still involve people in destroying dangerous books, like books about chromosomes.  Now, people from across the globe can join together via Kindle Bonfire, around the warm glow of outdated literature.”

Amazon has chosen a library of objectionable books that customers could not learn however can burn, together with all science and historical past textbooks, in addition to just about something written earlier than 2018.  After selecting just a few books, customers will then management an avatar that flings books into the Kindle Bonfire whereas shouting slogans like, “Hate has no home here!”  Avatars could then give one another socially distanced air-fives, and have fun the approaching peace that all the time follows an ascendant cultural pressure burning all dissent.

While just a few distributors nonetheless exist that can promote the books slated for burning, Amazon plans to purchase these distributors or bash them in with a shovel.  The U.S. authorities has supplied to supply any help vital to make sure no small enterprise stands in the way in which of Amazon blazing the way in which to utopia.

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