New York Times Calls For Banning Coffee Shops After Learning People Can Have Uncensored Conversations There
NEW YORK, NY—The New York Times has known as for the banning of espresso retailers after studying that individuals can have “unfettered conversations” in them.
“We must ban coffee shops, as people can have conversations there that journalists are unable to fact-check,” wrote Taylor Lorenz in a chunk for the Times this morning. “I went up to a group in a coffee shop just the other day and sat down with them so I could record their conversation, fact-check, and dox them. They told me to ‘go away’ and that ‘you’re really weird and kinda scaring us a bit, lady’ — is this the future of democracy? People participating in free speech without any journalists around to monitor them?”
“This isn’t the future the Founders — who were racist and bigoted, by the way — intended.” The piece went on to name espresso retailers, bars, water coolers, houses, parks, malls, and pubs all “alt-right funnels” for the way in which folks could be radicalized by simply speaking to one another in them, outdoors the earshot of journalists.
The Times workforce can be engaged on a chunk calling for the banning of mouths, since you would say actually something with them.